Doesn't Count
by silkyterrier34
Summary: For his 16th birthday, Steve suggests that Bucky teach him how to kiss. Of course, this doesn't count as his first one. It's just practice.


**I know I'm supposed to be working on stories with multiple chapters, but this story popped in my head and I'm a sucker for Stucky! Considering the fact I've been reading and writing fan fiction since the early 2010's, it's a wonder I haven't posted anything with a same-sex couple yet.**

* * *

The July sun shone brightly on Steve to the point where his hair was hot to the touch. Sweat practically poured down his face as he made his way up the stairs to his apartment.

Bucky had no doubt thought setting up Steve's blind date on his 16th birthday was clever. Obviously, he never imagined that the girl would stand him up. Steve had nervously waited for her to greet him outside the movie theater, dressed in his Sunday best and two quarters in his pocket. However, no girl had greeted him at the cinema.

He entered his apartment to see that his mother was dressed in her nurse uniform and writing on a piece of paper at the table. When the door creaked open, she had looked up in surprise to see her son kicking off his shoes with a resigned yet glum look on his face.

She stood up from the table. "I was just leaving you a note saying that I have to work tonight. I thought you'd be gone for at least another hour. Did the date not go well?"

Steve sighed. "There was no date."

"You were gone for two hours."

"I figured she must have got the time of the movie wrong, so I waited." He set the two quarters on the table with the note. "At least I saved 50 cents."

His mother offered a smile of pity before pulling him into a hug. Despite the fact he turned 16 that day, she towered over him in the embrace. "If a girl can't even bother to show up, then she's not worth your time."

"She certainly thought I wasn't worth hers."

"And that's her loss," she said before kissing his forehead and releasing him.

Steve smirked before remembering what his mother had said when he first walked in. "You're working tonight?"

"You know how people tend to injure themselves on Independence Day. They need all hands on deck tonight." At Steve's disappointed look, she continued, "I would prefer to spend your birthday with you, Steven, but I can't afford to miss today. We should be thankful that I'm still working. We can't say the same about many others nowadays."

Steve had to admit that his mother was right. Since the stock market crashed in 1929, people had lost their jobs left and right. Last Steve had heard, 1 in 5 Americans were looking for a job. His mother was able to keep her position at the hospital, and even though they were less well off than in the 20's, they considered themselves lucky. Now she had to do everything she could to keep her job and make enough money to support the two of them. Steve's medicine wasn't exactly cheap.

"I understand," said Steve, "We'll do something to celebrate when you get back."

"Of course we will!"

"Can I invite Buck to see the fireworks tonight?" Steve asked. His request was a little late. The two teenagers had already agreed to meet on the roof of Steve's apartment complex. It was one of the best spots to see the fireworks display.

"If his family is fine with it. I'm sure he's dying to hear how the date went anyway. Now go change out of those clothes before they get too dirty for Sunday."

Steve realized just how more comfortable he would be in casual clothes. His shirt clung to his back from the sweat and the area around his armpits felt very damp. "Thanks, Mom. Have fun at work!"

He left for his room as his mother left for the hospital.

* * *

That night, Bucky lugged his mother's old quilt up to the roof. Steve was already there. The lights from the nearby windows were enough for him to see his friend. "Is that my shirt?"

Steve looked down at the large, button-up shirt with its rolled up sleeves and collar dipping down to show a good portion of his protruding clavicles. "Oh, yeah. You let me borrow it when I got into that food fight with the Donner boys. Remember?"

Steve had been trying to find a shirt that wouldn't be uncomfortable with all of the sweat. When he found Bucky's shirt hanging, he decided it was large enough that it wouldn't stick to his skin.

Bucky laughed, remembering that day. According to Steve, they were pestering some girls who clearly weren't interested in them, and he, being ever the gentleman, decided to defend them. By the time Bucky joined Steve to fight off the bullies, Steve had several stains on his shirt. Since Bucky was wearing a tight shirt under his button-up, he offered it to Steve.

Bucky laid out the quilt so the boys could sit on it. "We sure showed them!"

Steve laughed as he sat down. "They left us alone for at least two weeks!"

"Eh, maybe a week. We didn't show them that much." As Steve's laughter died down, Bucky asked, "So how was the movie? Did you and Cindy get along?"

His smile fell instantly. "Oh, that's who was supposed to meet me."

Bucky's good spirits also disappeared as he sat down next to him. "Don't tell me she-"

"Didn't show? You said that someone else helped plan the date. Do you think she told Cindy that it was me?"

"It shouldn't matter!"

Steve appreciated Bucky's dedication to finding him a romantic partner. While Bucky himself wasn't dating anyone at the moment, he'd had girlfriends in the past. He had made it his mission for Steve to catch up on his relationship milestones. He had taken them on double dates, but it usually ended up with the two of them hanging out with each other more than their dates. Also, the girls only paid attention to one of them, and it wasn't Steve. That's why Bucky's been trying to set up Steve on dates without him.

Bucky groaned. "I shouldn't have told you it was her just now. I hope you don't have a lot of classes with her when school starts again."

"I can handle it if that happens."

"You deserve a whole lot better, Steve. When you finally get your first girlfriend and have your first kiss and all, this will just seem like a minor setback."

Steve nodded, but he couldn't bring himself to agree with his friend. Girls just weren't interested in him, and he couldn't blame them. He was small and skinny and people probably thought he'd be dead before he could fulfill their wish of having a family. Steve felt he was too stubborn for any of his ailments to end his life, but even he had to admit that he had been at death's door multiple times growing up.

It was going to be Bucky who would grow up to have a loving wife and a few children running around the place. Steve could see it now. An older Bucky was embracing a beautiful woman with a pregnant belly. Along with them was a boy who was the spitting image of Bucky and a little girl with pigtails. The thought was bittersweet to Steve. He was happy for his friend, but felt jealous of the woman in his head. He figured it was probably because she would be the focus of Bucky's world and Steve would have to share his attention.

Bucky became worried about Steve's silence. He knew how negative his thoughts could get after a bad event, even if they did wear off quickly. He couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for putting him in this situation. "I'm sorry. This was supposed to be your birthday gift. I'll think of a better one for you."

"Don't worry about it, Buck." Steve was about to suggest that they change the subject as they waited for the fireworks when a question slipped into his mind and out of his mouth. "What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Kissing. I heard someone at school complain how it's harder than it looks. Is that true?"

Bucky lounged back on the quilt. "The first time is definitely the worst. You have practically no idea what you're doing."

"Oh," said Steve, "What are you supposed to do besides touch lips?"

Bucky considered the question. There was a lot to kissing, but he wasn't sure how to describe it to Steve. "It just takes practice."

"Can you teach me? When I finally get a partner, the last thing I want to do is scare her away."

"If it's her first kiss, she'll be just as bad. If it isn't, she'll remember how awkward her first kiss was."

Steve shrugged. "Maybe, but I would like to impress her. Any advice?"

"I would tell you what to do, but I'm not really sure how to explain it."

The words left Steve's mouth before he had the chance to stop them. "Then show me."

Both were completely stupefied by the request. With the exception of the city noises, it was completely silent on the roof as they both comprehended what was just said.

Bucky was the first to speak as he sat back up. "What?"

The right thing to do would have been to brush it off as a joke, but once Steve had an idea, even one he wasn't exactly comfortable with, he stuck to it. "If you can't tell me, kiss me so you can help me perfect my technique."

Now, Bucky was not bothered by the idea of kissing Steve. It was the worry that Steve would be bothered that made him ask, "Are you sure? Wouldn't you prefer your first kiss to be with a girl?"

"This doesn't count as a first kiss."

"Oh? Why?"

Steve sat up taller as he answered, "If practice kissing counted as a first kiss, then most people would say their first kiss was with a pillow or stuffed animal. Plus, it's my birthday, and I say it doesn't have to count. Speaking of, you said you wanted to give me a gift. Here's your chance."

Bucky knew Steve meant the lesson would be the gift, but he couldn't help but feel like the kiss itself was the present. He suddenly felt pressure to make it the best kiss Steve would ever have, but quickly relaxed. If he was going to teach Steve how to kiss, he had to be level-headed. Saying no to Steve now wasn't even an option in his mind.

"Okay," he said before leaning in.

In response, Steve leaned back. "Wait, not here!"

"Why not?"

"What if someone peeks out their window and sees us?! We'd be ridiculed or even sent to jail! And my mom!" Steve pulled at his hair just thinking about her hypothetical reaction. "She'd smack me into next week with a bible if she saw me kissing a guy!"

"You said it yourself that this is just practice."

"Onlookers won't necessarily know that."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Your mom is definitely at work and if people looked out their windows, they wouldn't be able to see us. Even if they did, we'll just explain what we're doing." He smirked. "You're not scared, are you?"

If there was anyone who knew how to press Steve's buttons, it was Bucky. He scoffed at the idea that he was nervous. "I'm not afraid! Go ahead! Kiss me!"

Steve leaned towards Bucky and closed his eyes. He pushed his lips out as if he were impersonating a fish.

"You are puckering way too much, Pal," said Bucky, "You're not a little boy kissing his mommy good night. You're a man dedicated to showing a gal just how much you appreciate her."

Steve relaxed his lips as he huffed in annoyance. "Okay, you lead. What do I do?"

"Well," he responded as he scooted closer, "if it's the first time I'm kissing her, I'd help her out a bit. Everyone kisses differently. So I'd gently take her chin and position her face so that she's looking into my eyes."

Bucky demonstrated by placing his hand on Steve's chin and lifting his face so that their eyes were locked onto each other. Steve always knew what color Bucky's eyes were, but he never got to fully appreciate their characteristics. Even with the limited amount of light, he could see just how attractive they were. It was no wonder girls swooned when he looked their way. He would give just about anything to have a pair of eyes look at him with such love as Bucky was pretending to have right now.

But he wasn't pretending. Bucky genuinely had no idea how his eyes looked. He was too focused on Steve's face, planning how he'd have to perform this without bumping noses or clashing teeth. When he decided how he was going to go in for the kiss, he realized, not for the first time, how handsome Steve's face was. Maybe it was the way the lights of the city shined on him, highlighting his most prominent features, that reminded him. His eyes were focused on Bucky's, allowing him to seemingly stare right into his beautiful soul.

Before Bucky got too caught up in the sudden lightness in his chest, he continued, "Perhaps I'd say something romantic or something to relax her, but then I'd close my eyes and lean in. Keep still at first, then follow my lead."

As if the reality of the situation hit him, Steve just nodded dumbly. He decided he'd follow orders without any fuss, for once.

As Bucky leaned in, his eyes began to droop shut. Steve decided it would be best to close his own eyes as Bucky's lips gently collided with his. The feel of it was completely foreign to him, but not unpleasant. Bucky mentally congratulated himself for a perfect start as he demonstrated how to kiss.

Steve had decided to let Bucky continue showing him how to move his lips before trying it out himself, but he felt the sudden urge to join him merely seconds after the kiss began. He gave in, and it was exhilarating. He felt like fireworks were going off inside of him. Fittingly, that's when the real ones started off in the distance.

Bucky had never felt like this when he kissed his dates. This was much more exciting yet comfortable. It was like an electric current was rushing between the two of them, connecting them on a more spiritual level.

He broke the kiss for a moment, whispering, "Remember to take moments to breathe. The last thing you want is an asthma attack."

Indeed, Steve was taking soft yet eager breaths now that he could. "Yeah."

This time it was Steve who slowly connected their lips, trying not to seem eager. The fireworks continued to explode in the distance as they continued their lesson. Steve shifted to his knees so that he could rest his arms on Bucky's shoulders. In response, Bucky grabbed his hips and deepened the kiss. He wondered if he should teach Steve what to do with his tongue, but decided against it. Steve probably wouldn't need to know yet and he didn't want to cross the line.

Steve imagined Bucky kissing his neck right under the jugular, and was almost tempted to crane his head back in a silent plea to do so. He found it harder and harder to remember that this was just a lesson. It was getting harder to even think. Perhaps it was related to the fact that he was lightheaded. Maybe he needed to breathe more.

 _BOOM!_

The two jumped apart at a particularly loud explosion. They turned their attention towards the fireworks display that they had completely forgotten about, breathing like they had just run a marathon. The show looked glorious, but both boys couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that it had interrupted them. Each teen realized how close they themselves had come to going into a full make out session, yet without realizing the other was equally tempted to continue.

Bucky asked without looking away from the fireworks, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Steve breathed out. He tentatively put a hand to his mouth. "My lips hurt."

The boys looked back at each other to see that indeed, both of their lips were slightly swollen and were probably going to turn red.

Bucky felt himself blushing. He had kissed harder than he meant to. "That's normal. You might want to hide your lips from your mom for awhile."

"I can do that. What about you? Won't your parents notice?"

"Hidden it before."

Steve felt his gut twist with something akin to anger and jealousy. "Right." They watched the fireworks. "Maybe you should stay over. Just in case. My mom won't mind."

"Sure. By the way..." said Bucky with a smirk, "Since I know you're not afraid to hurt my feelings, how was I?"

"Best kiss I've ever had!"

They chuckled to themselves as the fireworks continued to go off in the distance. Steve found that he was tempted to take hold of Bucky's hand, much like how he'd seen couples do before. Instead, he imagined a world where he could kiss Bucky whenever he wanted without the fear of going to jail or upsetting anyone he loves.

It would be decades before he voiced it, but he considered Bucky the first person he ever kissed.

* * *

 **Full disclosure: I've never kissed anyone, so I'm just going off what I hear it's like.**

 **Reading Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger stories, I feel like people forget that the Great Depression was going on. As a history fan, I saw the opportunity to mention it and I took it.**

 **Please let me know what you think! I don't usually write scenes as romantic as this, and would appreciate the feedback.**


End file.
